depression

went for counseling this few days....those so called social worker had been talking to me non stop for 2 hrs per day....they guide me and talk to me...helping me to cope stress and depression....it seem like..totally no use....its not getting better....i felt that i'm getting worst....fuck up...no mood....no feeling.....i'm non difference from mental disorder people...i yell at my friend...shout and scold my parents.....for what??!!! i just can't control myself....

i smoke and smoke....hopefully 1 day i will just died.....drink almost everyday...spent almost all my money on all this....my friend told me...what for i am doing all this.....i only reply them..i just wanna make myself numb....and wanna end my life early.....


this is a fucking screwed up world!! with lots of fuck up people around....